Before I met and married my wife, I was once infatuated with a lady that I met at a college get-together, and she lived about a thousand miles away.

Well, her birthday was coming up, so I put together a birthday party in a box.  I took a party balloon, inflated it, and drew my face on it using a magic marker.  Then I deflated the balloon and put it in the box, along with two party hats - one for her and one for the surrogate me. 

I also included the rest of the package of balloons, a box of microwave cake mix, a jar of frosting, a card, and a wrapped present.  I mailed this to her shortly before her birthday.  She was quite impressed.