We arranged to meet (blind date – we had seen each other’s pictures) at a pub in a yuppy popular part of town. At least I thought it was that part of town. Turns out it was on the EDGE of that section. When I drove by the front (parking was in the rear) – I almost kept going – it looked like a dump. The place came highly recommended, so I forged on. It was called the “Lucky Laborador” – apparently people are allowed to bring their dogs along – there were several dogs sitting next to people on the covered porch area. Okaaaaay.
He pulled in right behind me – I knew it was him, because he drove a yuppy SUV – just fit. He got out and I instantly recognized him as the father or at least waaaay older brother of the man I had seen in the picture. Of course I smiled and offered my hand, we exchanged pleasantries and went inside.
Actually, the place was pretty neat. An old warehouse, with nice decor and an awesome bar. We chose a table toward the middle of the room, there were only a few tables occupied so we pretty much had our choice.
The first words out of his mouth as we sat down were, “I’m not sure how to tell you this, and I feel a little stupid, but I forgot my wallet” (Ok Bud, you can forget this date). So I said, “that’s ok, I’ll just give the
bartender my debit card for the tab.” We got drinks (soda for me, beer for him) and ordered a light dinner.
We sat there and talked, had fairly pleasant conversation for about two and a half hours – even though I’m sure we both knew it was not a “Love Connection”. However, he got up to use the bathroom THREE times. I thought that was a little strange. Before the last time he got up to go, he had been squirming, and acting really uncomfortable. I asked him if he was ok, he told me he had a bad back. Jeez. Ok, third shot at the toilet, squirming with a bad back, this was going nowhere, so I put my coat on while he was gone.
He got back and took the hint, asking me if I was ready to leave. I said, “YES – I’ll go take care of our tab.” He says, “Ok, but let me write you a check.” (Is there no end to this guy lack of class?) I told him no, not necessary, and stepped up to settle the tab. When I got back, he shoved a folded in half check at me. I told him no again, but he said he insisted.
I stuck it in my pocket.
We left the building, our cars were parked apart. I assumed he would walk me to my car, but was wrong. Instead, he said it was nice meeting me (yeah, right) and headed toward his own car! What a schmuck. I got in my car and headed down the freeway, replaying the events of the night thinking blind dates might not be the ticket (this was my first). All of a sudden I remembered the check in my pocket. I pulled it out, unfolded it and read it. First of all, he made it out to “Sally” – which is pretty funny in itself. Of course, he didn’t know my last name. But then, the amount!! He made the check for TWELVE DOLLARS!! Where in the heck did he come up with TWELVE DOLLARS???????? That wasn’t even half the tab. Am I a TWELVE DOLLAR DATE? Or WHAT?!! I started laughing, it was so funny!
The worst part was I had told everyone at work that I was going on a blind date, so of course, they all asked me how it went. All I had to say was, “Well, the first words out of his mouth were “…I forgot my wallet.”” By the way, I DID cash the check.
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