Date Disasters

Date Disasters

UP IN SMOKE

submitted by: Angela Napier

 

bad-dates-man-smoking-terrible-time-date-movieMy worst date began when this very cute man asked me out at a wedding reception we were attending.  He was a good friend of my childhood friend who was getting married, so I assumed it was safe.  We had made plans to go to dinner and a movie the following weekend.

Upon arrival to my house he came to the front door with a tall boy (16oz can of beer) in his hands!  OK, I thought to myself, bad first impression.  So, we pull out of the driveway after he downs the beer.  I offered to drive, but he refused.  Needless to say, I had to ask how many he had drank so that he was OK to drive.  So on our way to the restaurant he lights up a cigarette, and doesn’t crack the window.  I’m not a smoker, so you can imagine how happy I was.  The truck was filling up with smoke when I had to crack my window so I could get a little oxygen.

So while we were at dinner, things started getting a little better, to my surprise.  He started asking me questions about myself.  I started talking about my family, my 4 sisters, what I like to do in my spare time, etc. etc.  Then I had to go and open my mouth.  I said, “So, tell me a little bit about yourself.”  So he did……  “Well, my parents have been divorced for quite some time.  My mother remarried and I really like my step dad.  My step dad, Bernie, is really into racing.  So that has gotten me into racing as well.  I really enjoy it.  See, Bernie is really cool.  I live in my parents pool house and he comes out to the garage and hangs out with me and my buddy all the time.  He’ll always come out there and smoke weed with us.  He’s a blast!”  HOLD UP!!!  Weed????  ACK!  I’m sitting across the table thinking to myself…”this stuff ONLY happens to me!”

So dinner is finished.  We are a little early for the movie so he says he would like to go across the street to the book store to get some racing magazines.  “They carry the cool ones with the curse words in it!”  Oh yippee, can we, can we?  On the way there and to the movie he proceeds to smoke 3 more cigarettes, in a 15 minute period…….  I’m not a smoker, but that doesn’t sound too good.

So, after the movie he takes me home.  He pulls in the driveway and proceeds to tell me that he had such a good time and would like to get together again.  He says, “Maybe next time we can do something funner.”  Funner, really?  What would be more fun, going to the pool house and smokin’ up a few? Ugh.  Suddenly, he has ‘the look’.  The ‘I want to stick my tongue down your throat and taste your insides’ look.  I say, “Yea, maybe bowling or something like that.  Thanks so much for the date!  Have a safe drive back!”  And I hop out of the car and run for the door.  He sits there for a minute and then finally leaves.  This would only happen to me. 🙂

 


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