One night after a horrible argument, I wanted the whole episode to end, but I also felt like there were emotions that would just pop up later as resentment if we did not deal with the emotions right then. Well, being a girl, I was ready to talk things out at length, but I knew my analytical, engineering hubby would not go for that. So also being a teacher, I came up with an assignment for us to do, and it follows…
1. Write down (3) reasons for your anger.
2. Write down (3) unpleasant emotions this argument has caused.
3. Write down (3) constructive ways your significant other can prevent these emotions from occurring in the future.
4. Write down (5) things you love about your significant other.
5. Let your significant other read all the lists.
6. Apologize to each other for all the items on #1 and #2.
7. Promise each other to take the items on #3 into consideration.
8. Tear the lists on #1 and #2 into little bitty pieces and throw away or use for kindling in a fireplace which will set the mood for further “making up.”
9. Hug each other tightly for at least 20 seconds, and tell each other that you love one another.
10. Let the making-up continue with kisses and cuddles and …
On the night of our horrible argument, the tensions were so high that we even left the house so that we would be on neutral ground, which I think helped. Then when we came back home, we were in better spirits, and our home again was cozy and welcoming instead of electrified with anger. Granted, not all arguments would need something this elaborate. In those cases, one of the best things my husband and I do to make up is to hug each other. Those hugs are so reassuring and comforting, and the hug seems to restore our equilibrium and renew our goodwill and love for each other.
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