It was wintertime, well past Christmas, chilly and dreary and we’d been all-too-sensible for a while. And a running joke had developed between us about the practical, warm flannel pajamas my wife favored – very comfortable, but, as she called them, “my frumpy jammies”. Important to have when the thermostat is kept on a sensible, frugal setting.
However, I decided it was time to turn the heat up.
First I did so literally, since it would assist the rest of the plan…
Then, as my wife was busy elsewhere in the house, I put my scheme into action. First, to the pajama drawer, with a large bag into which I put the Frumpy Jammies, and in fact every piece of sleepwear except a couple of sets of the sexiest she had. A minute to hide the bag in the back of a closet, and then drop in the prepared ransom note:
“BEWARE! You have been visited by the Society for the Liberation of Lingerie and the Suppression of Frump! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RESIST – WE ARE SERIOUS!
It has come to our attention that the lingerie in your drawer has been discriminated against. If you ever want to see your frumpy jammies again, you must remedy this injustice! Remember, the fate of the frumpy jammies depends entirely upon your good behavior!”
On reflection, I crossed out the typed “good” and replaced it with “bad”. Then I prepared to feign sleep, waiting for my wife to find the drawer and the note. She laughed for five minutes straight, and recovered the bag of pajamas…later. The Society for the Liberation of Lingerie and the Suppression of Frump was never apprehended, and is still out there somewhere – waiting to strike again.
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